you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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