Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
operation have a gay friend backfired
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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