If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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