Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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