Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
