i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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