U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
