Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize