then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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