I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My bed smells like the plague
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
