i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
