he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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