i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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