the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
