Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
