Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
