She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
