Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
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I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
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The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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