oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
