You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?