You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
