Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize