why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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