I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Your penis caused this!
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
