Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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