You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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