Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
