You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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