Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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