How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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