she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
