so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
