He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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