I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize