i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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