turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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