Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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