Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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