Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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