She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
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