Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
