Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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