Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
