Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Pooping to opera.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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