and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Quick, to the slutcave!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
