I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
