You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
