Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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