Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
