So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
