i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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