Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
