Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
