I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
