so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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