and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
