dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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