On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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