I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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