I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
