i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
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i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
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We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize