Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
