I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
