so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
